Parent & Teen Support
About
We do not view teenagers as broken, toxic, dysfunctional, crazy, messed up, clueless, lost, freak-shows, losers, punks, smart asses, thoughtless, self-centered narcissists. But we do view them as terrorists! Just kidding. Well.. mostly.
Most kids are trying hard to navigate through school trying to make sense of internal and external changes. Their bodies and minds are fast developing and suddenly adults become the stupidest creatures on the planet. And as a father of a teenage son and two pre-teen daughters, I am certain I too am approaching the clueless stage. Yet there is a way to work with teens that minimizes conflict and takes advantage of connecting moments, even when they seem spaced far apart. And that is to see them for who they really are.
Teen needs
Teens have certain needs that when better understood and respected make them far more likely to engage with adults in meaninful interactions. Some of these needs are:
"No matter what, please don't embarrass me."
"Please give me space even when you think I've had enough."
"Please don't ask me how school was. I just spent 7 hours trying to get away from there."
"Don't assume my friend is a loser because you suspect he smokes weed."
"I care about my grades but I don't need the extra pressure !"
"I want to hear what you have to say, just in small, quick doses."
"I want to spend time with family, just not on Friday and Saturday night between 7 pm and 1 a.m."
Therapy with adolescents may include the following:
depression and anxiety
add/adhd
anger management/conflict resolution
school stressors (grades, time management, peers)
relationship issues
drugs & alcohol
sex & sexuality, body image
addictions, social media, texting/sexting
self-esteem
learning disabilities
identity issues
stress in athletics, family pressure, college concerns
Focus on strengths
There is a quote I once heard, "Where your focus goes, energy flows." If you focus on your teen's strengths (laughter, intelligence, thoughtfulness, creativity, resiliency, hard-work, etc,) you will find it easier to stay connected with him/her. If you focus on their deficiencies or areas yet to be developed, you will most likely be annoyed each day.
Adolescents are caught between childhood and adulthood which is frankly no fun for anyone. Being in a state of transition, as most adults know, is not where we wish to be. Neither do they!